Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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