I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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