Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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