Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
ttyl tear gas
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
