I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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