I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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