Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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