New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
