okay pat passed out under dana's car
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
