he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
