Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
