Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
