she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
