I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm like, not good at living.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize