All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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