The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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