i would punch a child for taco bell
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
