just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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