Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
