bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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