oh god the rape fog is back!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
