at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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