My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
