dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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