Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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