and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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