I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize