just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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