I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
well you can't waste a boner
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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