Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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