We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
