Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
