I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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