none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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