Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
