"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
