nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
