Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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