it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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