You work out of a Hotel?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
do herpes really smell.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
