problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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