called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
