My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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