i barfeds in our rink
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
