Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pants are for mortals
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize