how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
