awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
