Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize