There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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