Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
