OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
