Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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