wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
