I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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