No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
