we made out on top of his cat.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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