And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
