If i come over, it means nothing
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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