Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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