Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
