no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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