yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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