I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Two words: nipple clamps
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