small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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