it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize