I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize