wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
