"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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